Sometimes, it's hard to me believe that Dr. Boli's Celebrated Magazine is free. As much as I love Hodgman, I had to give my precious dollars to The Strand in order to read his book anytime I want. Sure, Hodgman gives us a blog, but he saves his best stuff for books and television—commercial enterprises both. But Dr. Boli, as far as I know, is a web-only endeavor, given over to us as pure gift. And today was another splendid entry, on mice. There is a tone of gentle whimsy for most of the piece: the anger towards and suspicion of such tiny creatures strikes the reader as hilariously disproportionate to any conceivable cause. To hear the rage of the frustrated houseowner translated into such formal prose is delight enough in itself, but then, at the end, there is a sudden thrust of dark social criticism, then silence, leaving the reader with no choice but to reflect on the world around her. Here are excerpts (although I suggest reading the unexpurgated version to appreciate the exquisite balance of Dr. Boli's comic timing):
Mice are fiendishly intelligent creatures, easily able to outwit the run-of-the-mill human intelligences ordinarily pitted against them. The only creature able to outwit a mouse, and that only occasionally, is a cat; but, as cats also employ their intelligence for wicked ends, it is scarcely necessary to point out that introducing a cat to a mouse-infested house is tantamount to enslaving oneself to the forces of darkness.
[...]
Mice subsist primarily on whatever you were planning on eating the next day. They believe that the entire world was created for their benefit, and that they have a perfect right senselessly to destroy what they cannot use. In this they resemble certain other species that infest our planet, but Dr. Boli does not wish to give offense unnecessarily.
[...]
Allegorically, mice represent Industry, which in a capitalist society is ordinarily left in the hands of individuals who share the ethical philosophy of the mouse.
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